During the break at one of our recent Intimacy Retreats, Betty, a participant, took me aside and asked, are we like dinosaurs? Are those of us who are still married, who still enjoy the one-on-one monogamous journey as our life path, are we behind the times? Are we a dying breed? Are we becoming extinct?
Good question. I know that in some circles today, dating itself is considered archaic. Friends go out in groups rather than in twosomes.
But Susan, a wedding planner, tells me her business is booming. More and more couples still want to tie the knot. I perform weddings and it’s an awesome gift to stand as witness to the joining of two souls embodied as bride and groom. (Or bride and bride, groom and groom, whatever.)
So, no, I don’t think we’re a dying breed. Humans, like some swans, penguins and wolves, seem to have an inborn instinct to seek another to pair up with. We break away from mom and dad, and float around until we find another who is also looking to hook up in a long-term way. Not to say that the floating around time can’t also be a grounded experience in and of itself, or that all hook ups have to be long-term. Honestly, I don’t know if having a beloved partner to wrap our arms around at the end of the day is the best way to walk through life. It’s certainly not the only way. Yet most of my single friends and clients express their yearning for just that. They want the delight of being in love, the warmth of knowing that there is someone with whom they belong.
After almost 25 years of marriage, perhaps I’m still a fool in love. I’ve even written a book – Tantric Sex for Busy Couples – to help us enjoy the one-on-one relationship even more. I’m wondering what YOU think, is this type of love foolish?
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